I QUIT!

Well the title says it all.  I should probably give a little back story.  I am using my job as a technology consultant as my internship (officially), but I wanted to do something else that would give me firsthand experience in some other field.  In a previous post I stated that I did get an internship at a venue/events coordinator company.  Since it was located downtown and had connections to some of the more interesting structures and local companies in Phoenix I thought that I could get a really good idea of different aspects of the city.  In reality, I got to get a good idea of how appease a bride. The company, it turned out, mostly catered to weddings and due to my schedule this was the only thing that I was going to be exposed to.  I had a chance to blog for them (mostly about wedding stuff), but considering how much I enjoying blogging I thought it would be best not to pursue that. 

                I don’t like to quit and I am wouldn’t consider myself a quitter in any sense so the decision took me a very long time and I felt horrible about it. When I say that I will do something for another person in a business sense I take it very personally.  They are relying on me and I have a reputation to uphold.  With the internship though, I just couldn’t justify it in my schedule.  If I felt that I was learning something extraordinary or that I it could open doors for my in the field that I am studying I would have stuck it out, but none of that was happening.  I was answering e-mails and when I did work event s I was guarding art and greeting people.  It just wasn’t worth it.  So I quit.  I have more time to for school and work now, which makes everything less stressful.   It wasn’t a total waste, though.  I learned what I don’t want to do, what kind of culture I want to promote, and that if it something is not benefiting me I should just let it go.  Perhaps, it is not such a bad thing to be a quitter? 

And proud of it!?

Excuses and Lack of Motivation

Although writings on the topic of excuses and lack of motivation could fill up entire libraries I will shorten this entry to my experience as of late.   As I might have mentioned in previous posts, I will be graduating (come hell or high water) in May.  So it is without saying that I am extremely anxious, but when I get anxious I also shut down almost completely.  I have already finished two classes for this semester and since they were shortened classes I went full steam.  Now I am completely worn out.   This brings me to the part about excuses.  I am a firm believer in the no excuses policy or that excuses are like a certain part of the human anatomy.  Yet, that rule does not seem to apply to me when I am justifying why I am starting my research paper hours before it is due or why I am just considering which graduate program I want to apply to.   Nope, I have excuses to fill the Grand Canyon for those things.    I try to relieve the situation by being super organized and dedicated for a week and them, again, I lose steam and fall off the wagon. 

One excuse that I do standby is that I get tired of reading chapters from a text book and regurgitating the information in a neat little package that will suffice in the eyes of the professor without really caring about what I wrote.  This scares me the most.   It makes me think that my lack of motivation is because I don’t care about my major?  Have I spent these last two years of my life dedicated to a field I have no interest in?  The thought of this horrifies me.  But, it can’t be true.  I do love learning about the city, the people, and the way they interact.  I just never have been the person to sit back and learn second hand, just facts no passion. 

Here comes the catch.  In order for me to be involved in the city or learn firsthand how it develops I have endure this year and another two of graduate school.   I fear and I know that I will continue to struggle with excuses and lack of motivation.  This has never stopped me before, in fact, I do very well under pressure!

(http://positiverecognition.wordpress.com/2011/07/07/motivate-your-staff/)

Slacks and Open-Toed Shoes

So, I am going to take this time to explain my whole internship “deal”.  At the end of last summer I had already signed up for my internship class and was just going to use my job as a Technology Consultant at ASU as my intern experience.  Well, I thought that is all well and good, but I really want to go out into the real world and experience different fields so I have somewhat of a grasp on what I want to do after I graduate.  So I applied to two vastly different internships.  This first was at the Phoenix Family Advocacy Center.  This is a place where they help mostly single women with families who find themselves in need of assistance due to economic insecurity or because they have been abused.  My goal going into this degree and the Public Programs arena was to help people.  So I thought that this would be a great opportunity for me to help people and experience all aspects of this city.  I interviewed for this position and was told that I did great, “very personable”.  I thought, “Great, you have to be approachable and personable especially when you are assisting people who have been abused.  I totally got it!” Oh boy was I wrong!  The ONLY critique the interviewer could give me was that I wore the wrong clothes…. WHAT?! My down fall was slacks and opened toed shoes.  I wasn’t going to be able to help my fellow women because of slacks and opened toed shoes?  Makes perfect sense, Family Advocacy Center, your priorities are correctly placed! But, I digress.  If it wasn’t meant to be it wasn’t meant to be. 

 They just don't get my style!

My second attempt at an internship was at Downtown Phoenix Venues.  They rent out and assist with special events focusing mainly on downtown Phoenix.  Perfect, I am a UMS major, I love downtown, and it would be great to know what is going on around in my city!  Long story short; I dressed in my lucky black pencil skirt, CLOSED toe shoes, and a great top!  I got the internship.  That being said, my interviewer noted that they were basically working in their pajamas the whole day.  I was beginning to like this place even more!  So there you have it.  I still work at ASU and I have an internship with DPV, which at times can be stressful to juggle everything.  I mostly struggle though with the fact that I can’t do much.  I communicate with leads and am even starting to blog for them, but I am not physically present a lot of the time.  Hopefully they don’t mind, but everything that I am able to do I try to give it my all!


Photo: http://www.typef.com/article/dress-fashion-interview/

Does this get easier?

So… as you can probably tell by my lack of submissions and the general layout of this site I am not very keen on the “blogging”.  It is not that I don’t like writing or that I dislike the idea. Okay, I kind of dislike the idea, but I just feel that no one wants to hear me whine about my life (which is often the case in personal blogs).  Though, since this is for a class and I have to do it I will try my best to be both entertaining and enlightening.  It will also be nice to write about something other than Elizabethan London theatres or how important public transportation is in an urban environment.  Very, if you were wondering!  I will take this first post to introduce myself and then probably go into my first “intern” experience as a rock guard on the next post (be excited!). 

 *not actual rocks I guarded 

Well, my name is Jacqueline , Jackie, Jack or just J, point is I don’t care what you call me.  I am a senior this year and will be graduating with my B.S. in Urban and Metropolitan Studies in May. Very excited about this!  I am almost 100% sure that I want to go to graduate school next year, though; I don’t know what I want to study.  The difficulty with this major I have found is that it is very vague and a lot of people don’t know what it entails.  I don’t know how many times I have told someone that I am an UMS major and a blank stare appears on their face.  Perhaps any other UMS majors have had the same experience (please say you’ve had!)?  At this point the only thing that I could see myself doing and loving would be teaching and writing.  If I could be the next Peter Hall or Jane Jacobs that would be AMAZING!  To be able to learn about the city as if it were a living entity and then write about its history and how to make it great again would be a great end to this journey.

 Jane Jacobs 

 

Besides school, I work.  And besides work I try to juggle the guarding of the rocks (you’re getting excited I know you are!).  One big fault of mine is that I tend to bite off more than I can chew.  Sure, I choke it down at some point, but that raw feeling as all the work, papers, and endless discussion board post slides down my throat is not pleasant.  I’ve started whining!  Well, that is my cue to step away from the keyboard.  Hope I did this right!

Photos

(http://mbyers.net/stoneroom/stonehenge.html)

http://www.greenbuildingsnyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/jane-jacobs1.jpg